How to Help Kids Adjust to Frequent PCS Relocations
Updated: 3 days ago
Moving is hard on everyone, but kids feel it in their own way: a new house, a new school and new friends, again. As a military spouse for more than 30 years and an Arlington Associate Broker with 560+ transactions, I've helped many families through this, and raised a family through it myself. Here's what helps most.
Before the move
Let them help pick the house. If you can, bring them to showings or share photos and videos. Letting them choose their room or a few decor items gives them something to look forward to.
Talk about it as an adventure. Look up the new area together: parks, museums, the beach or mountains, a favorite food to try.
Contact the School Liaison. Every installation has a School Liaison who can help with enrollment, records and transitions. My guide to researching Northern Virginia schools from afar goes deeper.
A kid-safe home checklist
If you're house hunting with young children, look past the paint colors:
Stairs: Are there railings? Will baby gates fit? Open or spiral staircases can be risky for toddlers.
Sightlines: Can you see the family room or backyard from the kitchen?
Yards and water: Is the yard fenced? Is a pool fenced on all sides? Are there ponds or creeks nearby?
Electrical: Any exposed wiring or outlets in odd places? Note them for the inspector.
Hiding spots: Look for old sheds, chest freezers or crawl spaces where a child could get stuck.
The neighborhood: Sidewalks, crosswalks, traffic speed and how far the nearest fire station is. You can also check the Virginia sex offender registry for any address.
Think about your child a year or two from now, not just today. If a home needs changes to feel safe, weigh what they'd cost against how long you'll live there.
Set up their space first
Many military families unpack the kids' rooms before anything else. Familiar bedding, toys and nightlights bring back a sense of normal quickly.
Storage they can reach: bins on low shelves and a kid-height rod for dress-up clothes make cleanup easier.
Room to create: a small table and chairs, a reading corner or a play tent. If you rent, use peel-and-stick wall decals instead of paint.
Comfort: a soft rug, floor pillows or a bean bag make a new room feel cozy.
Let them personalize it. Choosing bedding or wall art helps them feel the room is theirs.
Settle into a routine
Keep mealtimes, bedtimes and family traditions like pizza night as close to normal as you can. Predictability is comforting when everything else is new.
Help them find their people
Visit the school early. Meet the teacher and walk the building before the first day. Ask whether the school has a buddy program for new students.
Explore the neighborhood together. Find the nearest playground, pool and ice cream shop in the first week.
Join something. Sports, scouts, a library club or a youth program at the installation's Child and Youth Services.
Finding activities in a new area
Your installation's MWR office lists events, youth sports and discounted tickets.
The public library runs summer reading programs and story times, and a library card is one of the first things I'd get.
County parks and recreation sites list camps, classes and pools.
Blue Star Museums: each summer, participating museums offer free admission to active-duty military families.
Ask around. Neighbors, coaches and other parents always know the best spots.
Leave room for downtime. Kids don't need every day scheduled, especially during a move.
For families moving to Northern Virginia
Kids here have a lot to discover. The Smithsonian museums in Washington are free every day. Fairfax County, Arlington and the other local park authorities run camps, nature centers and pools, and the county libraries offer strong summer programs. My PCS to Northern Virginia guide and neighborhood guide can help you choose an area that fits your family.
Sources: DoDEA School Liaison Program, National Endowment for the Arts, Blue Star Museums, Virginia State Police Sex Offender Registry.
Last reviewed: October 2026
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